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Category Archives: Cobi Freaking Jones

Sexy time, very nice

Sunday, November 11, 2007

So following on with Kansas City choosing function over form in the playoffs, we have Ruud Gullit promising to bring “sexy football” to America. Remember, you can’t spell “Los Angeles Galaxy” without SEXY GOALS.* A casual glance at the Galaxy roster reveals that Gullit has a near-total lack of players able to actually play in [...]

Also filed in Los Angeles Galaxy, Ruud Gullit | | Comments (9)

Galaxy clarify roles, sort of

Friday, November 9, 2007

I’ll get to my opinion on Ruud Gullit, but it ain’t like there’s a big hurry or anything. (One sentence preview: I’m if anything more excited about the Cobester as his assistant, although I know for a FACT that Cobi hasn’t been scouting college players this year.) But it’s the Galaxy’s offseason, I got time. [...]

Also filed in Alexi Freaking Lalas, Frank Yallop, Landon Freaking Donovan, Los Angeles Galaxy, Ruud Gullit | | Comments (4)

HOT RUMOR! Ruud Gullit to coach Galaxy

Thursday, November 8, 2007

My source is ALMOST NEVER WRONG on this type of thing. By the way, the Enforcement Division of DLSIA International has pre-emptively banned the following headlines: Galaxy Goes Dutch Galaxy Experience Ruud Awakening Galaxy In For Dutch Treat Galaxy Will Dread Nought Galaxy Choice a “Lock” The Enforcement Division will be extremely vigilant on dreadlock [...]

Also filed in HOT RUMORS!, Los Angeles Galaxy, Ruud Gullit | | Comments (8)

TNFtermath: Farewell performance

Friday, October 19, 2007

It wasn’t the way he wanted to go out, but we’ll never forget the cheers as he left the field. He only played a few times alongside David Beckham, but when he did, it was magic. Sadly, that brief flicker of hope wasn’t meant to be. Oh, I know what the rumors are saying, but [...]

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DC signmakers come through once more

Friday, August 10, 2007

I’ll wait for these guys to post a picture of their sign, “We Sing Better Than Your Wife.” It’s funny because it’s true. Until they do, we can enjoy Kevin Payne patiently explaining to them why Cobi Jones was being honored. Both sides were right, of course, but I think the SE’s are slightly more [...]

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TNF: Will Cobi Play? edition

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Look, I’m such a homer I start every day “Sing in me, O muse,” but DC just won in Foxboro while Los Angeles just got finished stinking up BMO Field. Theoretically easier games loom on the Galaxy horizon, not the least of which (but nearly the least of which) is the Million Dollar Bowl semifinal [...]

Also filed in Major League Soccer | | Comments (1)

Fantasy Update – too many tournaments edition

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

So the leader of the LARS division on fantasy.mlsnet.com congratulates me on making Cobi Jones captain for the week, saying “I thought you were just screwing around, because you had given up on the season.” And I sort of hemmed and hawed and shuffled a bit until I could change the subject to something less [...]

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Player of the Week – Homer edition

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Freddy Adu so clearly and obviously deserves this that I feel I owe you an explanation. See, Cobi Jones came off the bench to score two important goals, against adults. And while I like Freddy Adu as much as is healthy for a man more than twice his age but absolutely no further than that, [...]

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The most dangerous lead in soccer

Friday, June 22, 2007

I never understood why people thought 2-0 was “the most dangerous lead in soccer.” I mean, by that logic, 4-0 should be TWICE as dangerous. Someday, someone with some free time besides me should crunch the numbers and see how often 1-0 leads hold up against 2-0 leads. But I was sure proven wrong last [...]

Also filed in US Men's National Team | | Comments (7)

Hat Stats

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Mulling over MLS hat tricks, courtesy of the Ladder. The Miami Fusion scored a hat trick more recently than DC United. That can’t be right. DC beat the Mutiny by nearly two months, though – if you count the Open Cup. DC’s last hat trick came on the same day as Tampa Bay’s hat trick [...]

Also filed in Major League Soccer, Open Cup | | Comments (0)

Cobi memories – wear the dream

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I had one of the coolest shirts on the other day.

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Cobi memories – one in a series

Monday, March 19, 2007

It’s 1998, it’s the Rose Bowl, and the Galaxy are slapping around everyone in sight. These were the days of the countdown clock, and the Galaxy were up by something like five with thirty seconds left. One of the Los Angeles players – let’s call him “Welton” – starts to jog towards the tunnel. Cobi [...]

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Or maybe he’s just unveiling the new logo

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Galaxy announced a press conference on Monday with Cobi Jones making a special announcement. Some people think he’s going to announce his retirement after this season. Which is complete nonsense. Cobi is immortal. Why would an immortal person need to worry about retirement? Doesn’t make sense. No, clearly Cobi is going to announce that [...]

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